Trump first day in Oval Office first briefing by CIA Pentagon DIA FBI (Satire)

Trump: we must destroy ISIS.

CIA: We cannot do that sir. We created them along with Turkey Saudi Qatar and others.

Trump: the Democrats created them!

CIA: It was not the Democrats. We created ISIS sir. You need them or else you would loose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump: Stop funding Pakistan Let India deal with them.

CIA: sir we cannot do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan.

Trump: So what?

CIA: Modi will cut Baluchistan out of Pakistan.

Trump: I do not care.

CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir they will stop buying our weapons and they will become a Superpower. Sir we have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump:you have to destroy the Taliban.

CIA: sir we cannot do that we created the Taliban to keep Russia in check in the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their Nukes.

Trump: we have to destroy Islamic regimes. Let us start with The Saudis.

Pentagon: Sir we cannot do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We cannot have democracy there as otherwise their people will get that oil and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump: Then let us invade Iran.

Pentagon: We cannot do that sir!

Trump: Why not?

CIA: We are talking to them sir.

Trump: What? Why?

CIA: we want our stealth drone back. If we attack them then Russia will obliterate us there, as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump: Then let us attack Iraq again.

COA: Sir, our friends ISIS already control 1/3rd of Iraq.

Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?

CIA: Sir we need the Shia govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check sir.

Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.

USCIS: We cannot do that sir!

Trump: Why not?

FBI: Then our population will become fearless sir.

Trump: I am deporting all illegals to south of the border.

Border patrol: You cannot do that sir!!

Trump: Why not?

Border patrol: If they are gone who will build the wall sir?

Trump: Build the wall first you idiots!

Border patrol: Then they will be on this side of the wall sir!!

Trump: I am banning H1Bs!

USCIS: You cannot do that sir.

Chief of staff: Then we will have to outsource the White House to Bangalore sir!!

Trump: Why the hell did I get elected?

CIA: To enjoy the White House sir! We create the bad guys, you sign off sir. And then when we sign off you announce that you have destroyed them sir!

Trump: God bless America the land of the free and the brave!!