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We are Wonderful Indians (Satire)

Bengalis
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.

Mallus
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyyas
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = riot

Gujjus
One Gujju = a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay’s noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Tamil-Brahmins
One Tamil-Brahmin = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tamil-Brahmins = maths tuition class.
Three Tamil-Brahmins = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tamil-Brahmins = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

Bombayites
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Marwaris
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten other trading communities

Biharis
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth capturing squad.
Three Biharis = train hamari.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.

Punjabis
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Parsi’s
One Parsi = an Unmarried Man.
Two Parsis = an unmarried man with his unmarried sister.
Three Parsis = loads of abuses hurled.
Four Parsis = 50% of their population.

Sindhis
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = a duplicate goods shop.
Four Sindhis = a lot of gas around.

Catherine

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