Perks of reaching 50+ years of age

01. Kidnappers are least interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run anywhere.

04. People call at 10 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat dinner at 8 PM.

09. You can live without spouse but not withour your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You’ve quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.